RSS Feed (xml)

Powered By

Skin Design:
Free Blogger Skins

Powered by Blogger

Sign my guest map!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

No good deed goes unpunished

Remember last summer when I was having all that car trouble? It started out as a simple trip to the mechanic because I knew we were going to go on vacation soon, and I wanted my van to be in tip-top shape for the trip. It turned out to be about $4,000 worth of work. My van isn't worth it, but since it was a little, and a little, and then a lot more, I got sucked into paying all that, bu dribs and drabs. And of course, when the van was in the shop (most of the summer) I was not working. Then we went on the Vacation from Hell, and then Ted's car (a 1986 Toyota) finally gave up the ghost.

Well, through all of this, my Mom wanted to give me money for car repairs and a new car for Ted. Since out savings was shot, I had to say yes. And I made it CLEAR that this was to be a loan, not a gift. Because I am grown. Because everybody needs a little help now and then, but I certainly did not want to be beholden to my mother or anybody else. Because I did not want her to be able to hold this over my head later.

Well, I knew she was not going to be happy about it when I told her I would pay her back. I told her on the phone, so I would not have to see the face I knew she was making. She refused to answer when I told her I would pay her back, so I told her again a few weeks later. She still refused to discuss it. She kept changing the subject. I set up a check to go out every month from my Disabled Veteran's Pension (I tore up my knees on those early morning runs the Army loves so much). I called her again once I knew a check should have been sent, and made sure the checks were coming. She got the check. All good.

Months passed. I saw where she had cashed the checks on a semi-regular basis and everything seemed fine. My credit union account that the VA deposits that check into is pretty low-maintenance. I have all my utility payments set up to come out automatically from that account. And since the monthly payments don't all add up to the monthly deposit, I always have a little money left over, and of course it accumulates.

Well, at the beginning of January, I looked at the account, saw that for the last couple of months every thing had come out like I thought it would, and that I had a little extra in the account. I used that money to pay a bill. Now mind you, I don't keep a regular check register for this account because everything comes out automatically, and it is pretty much the same every month. I have two paper checks sent out automatically. One is to my propane company, which always cashes it promptly, and the other to my Mom. I did not realize that the auto checks don't get debited from the account when they are sent. Just like any other paper check, they come out of the account when somebody presents them at the bank.

Well. Leave it to my Mom. I have avoided having too much to do with her after the Home School Group debacle. Earlier this month she asked if Kiddo could spend the night for a Cousin Sleepover on February 2. Unfortunately, that happened to be the day his Cub Scout Pack was going to see the Chicago Wolves, and we had already shelled out more than $50 for tickets and committed to riding on the bus. You can't do everything, right?

This was nothing but pure spitefulness. Apparently, she has been holding the checks from my account. (Although, she did cash ONE check in November and ONE in December, which is why I thought everything was OK. After I told her we would not be available for the sleep-over, she cashed two hundred dollars worth of checks on the same day. I got 3 overdrafts. Now I have to scramble to put more money in that account before something else clears.

Now, a kinder or more charitable person would probably chalk this up to an old woman making a silly mistake. But, she has done something like this before. And she didn't like me paying her back (being an adult) anyway. AND then there was the timing. I swear, that woman has nothing better to do than to try and hurt me.

I saw her at Church yesterday, and actually did go out for lunch with her and the cousins afterward, and stayed civil about it. But I can't imagine how I am going to cope with this for the rest of her life. Ever since Ted and I decided that enough's enough, and that we were going to stop allowing her to manipulate us, things have gotten worse. It always shocks me when she does something like this. Not because I don't think she will, but because the shit she does is so sneaky. It's always like, "Whoa, I didn't see that coming."

1 comment:

Heather said...

My mother in law is like this. She's always offering to help us with stuff, then later when she wants to demand something of us, she says, "Look at all I've done for you." Nevermind that we never once ASKED her for a damn thing EVER. She did nice things, and deserves to be repaid with our inconvenience and overall upset of our lives. Blah. Now I refuse anything she offers, and she gets all offended, but I refuse to give her reasons to call me ungrateful.